America is Back!

With this “good news” US President Donald Trump began his 100-minute speech, which was listened to by both houses of Congress and the Supreme Court justices.

The Republican part of the hall applauded standing. The Democrats whistled, booed and raised protest signs.

The most zealous Democrat, who interrupted Trump and waved his cane at him, was removed by Speaker Johnson with the help of bailiffs. The troublemaker’s last name explained a lot — Green.

Then came the assignment of blame. Democrats and the worst president in US history — poor Biden — are to blame for all of America’s troubles. Immigration, national debt, loss of industry, inflation. Chicken egg prices are out of control!

Then the road to Salvation was indicated. The country will be saved by God, his representative Donald Trump, the Republicans and Elon Musk. Here he is, by the way, in the gallery — in a suit and tie, not some kind of punk… Musk already has all the money in the world, he doesn’t need anything for himself, but he works hard for the country around the clock.

Then Trump promised America a Golden Age.

Moreover, it will start tomorrow with a “gold card” — pay $5 million for it and you have a privileged residence permit. Not some “green card”. To quickly move towards the “golden age”, we need to remove the obstacle — deport millions of illegals. Congress should give a lot of money for this. “Look into the eyes of these people,” Trump pointed to the gallery where the families of Americans who died at the hands of immigrants were sitting.

The Ukrainian topic was passed over briefly, without emphasis. I received a letter from Kyiv here, — Trump said. They write that they regret it and are ready for anything. The war is over, they will work for peace, and fast and sustainable. The main thing — under our strong leadership. Without the creative improvisations that have been going on here recently… well, you’ve seen them. We’ll sign a deal on raw materials with them at some convenient time in the normal course of business. The main thing for us from Zelensky is not words, but deeds. We’ll see deeds, we’ll continue to help, but without the previous stupid generosity. Basically, let Europe strain itself there. We have our own, more important things to do. We’ve already bought ports on the Panama Canal, we’re about to take Greenland, no need to even go to Pelosi (Nancy in the hall, wearing aggressive pink, glares…)

Trump noted that “convincing” positive signals are coming from Russia. We’re doing everything to restore “normal relations.” Wait for details.

The apotheosis-finale was impressive.

We, Trump says, will build the strongest civilization on Earth! And what about Earth… The American flag will soon be planted on Mars! At that moment, Elon Musk was ready to take off from the balcony and soar above the hall.