Miracles of Vodka

The commander of the Long-Range Aviation Division Golovanov:

“…Stalin called me once and asked about my health. I replied that I couldn’t boast about my health, and the medicines they prescribed me didn’t give any visible improvement.

After a short silence, the Supreme Commander said:

– Look. I see that the doctors can’t help you. I know you don’t drink. Get some vodka at work and at home. When you feel bad, pour yourself some vodka and drink as much as you can. I think that should help you. Call me about the results. All the best.

The conversation was over.

I invited Dr. N.A. Leontyev and told him about my conversation with Stalin. The therapist’s reaction, contrary to my expectations, was clearly positive. He said that he himself wanted to suggest that I use vodka as a medicine, but he was afraid of the doctors treating me. Since I had attacks often, even several times a day, the vodka was soon delivered and was waiting, so to speak, for its fate.

A little time passed, and another attack began. I poured vodka into a glass, about half a glass, and drank it. It was already well known how the attack would develop. After the interruptions in the heart, there was a respiratory failure, which was the most painful. And the respiratory failure began, but did not develop into the usual severe form, but, on the contrary, died out. I did not even need to lie down to come to my senses.

And so it went day after day. The attacks ceased to be daily, they began to recur only every other day, every two. I coped with them without stopping working.

About two weeks later, the Supreme Commander called and asked how my health was. I told him about the amazing, from my point of view, results of taking vodka.

— Comrade Stalin, we invited all sorts of specialists, including luminaries, and they couldn’t do anything. But simple vodka dealt with what scientists couldn’t! — I finished.

— Why didn’t you call me and tell me about it yourself? — he asked.

There was no answer from me. I considered it impossible to approach Stalin with personal matters, even with his permission, and I still consider it, to put it more precisely, indecent. The silence lasted for quite a long time.

— Here’s what, — I finally heard Stalin’s voice, — keep in mind that vodka will help you as long as you use it as a medicine. If you start drinking vodka, you can put an end to your treatment. I want to warn you about this possible danger…”